I am a father to five children. I am in a serious struggle with child behavior problems, and trying hard to solve them. Going with my struggle, last week I made a few realizations about which I don’t think I even had a clue earlier. Here is what happened:
My oldest son Bob, has a new friend, a girl named Sanah. She came to our house after school to go for a movie with him (We don’t think that they should be girlfriend and boyfriend yet, but may be they are heading that way pretty fast. I’ve discussed more on these feelings in another post). That is pretty gracious. But if we talk about our kids, no way.
It might sound like the sky was falling, or something like that. They all just went out of control. They started making noise, forgot manners, started saying inappropriate things, and so on. This craziness went on all night, even hours after Sanah had gone home in the evening. I felt so much embarrassed and agitated that I cancelled the fun family weekend, we planned earlier.
This made me realize that a structured schedule is what our kids require. If anything gets out of order, its total chaos. They get out of control. I believe they can’t be blamed for all of this. May be it is the result of insufficient and unhealthy care they received during their initial lives. Now we are working on the ways to keep everything structured and controlled. A little strictness is what is needed in our home to avoid such children behavior issues.
Seeking help, I was browsing this Help Parents website, and contained the perfect article I needed. This website ans its information helped me a lot regarding the embarrassment I feel due to my children’s behavior. It had some nice tips to give. Let me share a little about them.
- Stop guessing what people might think- Don’t bother to think about people’s thoughts about you as a parent, unless they say directly that “you are a terrible parent”. You can’t be sure what they are thinking. May be they are just thinking about the times they had such troubles with their kids. Give up mind reading.
- Focus on your child, not on your embarrassment- Child’s misbehavior in public may be motivated by his needs or requirements. So, try to understand your kid, rather than worrying about what others might be thinking.
- “Avoid” and “Escape” may be wonderful strategies- As a parent, you must understand the situations which can make your children misbehave. So it would be best to avoid such circumstances. You can also make escape plan for your kids in case they don’t find the situation comfortable.